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The current year marks a ten-year milestone since the term “disappearing” hit the mainstream. Initially, the concept that someone could abruptly cease contact with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the peak of indignity. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an commonly unsuccessful pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a cohort who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a widespread attack on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier landscape than their Gen Y elders could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a detailed glossary to the words gen Z is using to discuss romance, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – For Zoomers, romance's gold standard is showing up as your true, raw self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s response is interested or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding mystery and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This refers to seeking out someone who supports you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do affordable dating in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral traits indicating a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes unstable, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits affirm your decision to date a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A band many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and frequently trivial repulsions that immediately kill any feelings of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {